What Seduction Taught Me About Real Estate Deals


In the 2006 New York Times bestseller The Game: Penetrating The Secret Society Of Pickup Artists by Neil Strauss, the world was exposed to the existence of the seduction community, which, according to its Wikipedia definition, “a movement of men whose goal is seduction and sexual success with/access to women”. This community had primarily existed through Usenet newsgroups (remember those?) as well as local clubs known as “seduction lairs” scattered all around the world.

And there was a Malaysia seduction lair. I know because I was part of it.

the-game-straussSeduction communities are often branded as misogynist and sexist, but in reality they are just a venue for men to learn and practice rapport building techniques that improve their rapport building skills and interactions with other people (not necessarily only with women). Also, the “morality” of seduction techniques is irrelevant – they can be used for good or evil.

Now that I’m close to 40 and married with three kids, stuff like knowing how to get phone numbers off leggy females at Laundry Bar is somewhat irrelevant when I’m grappling with a middle age existential crisis, niggling self doubt, a bulging beer belly, a receding hairline and an unhealthy addiction to Coke (the drink, not the drug). And yes, like everyone else in the now defunct Malaysia seduction lair (Ken, Rake, Strike, TripleSarge, Geordie – I know you all are reading this blog, tossers), I have moved on to do things like regular folks do, like, starting a startup. 😉

And as my lair brethren would testify, the skills that we acquired when we learned how to sarge were proved to be useful in other aspects of our lives. This should not be surprising at all since seduction tactics are nothing but your garden variety techniques on human psychology at their very core. In fact, one of my closest buddies I met in the lair Geordie (who has since gone on to make a name for himself as a successful property investor in Singapore) once confessed to me that he learned all his property investment techniques from dating women.

Geordie would quip to me the last time I met him over a cuppa in Takashimaya on Orchard Road in Singapore, “Khai Yin, it’s the same old, same old. Instead of sarging women, I’ve now graduated to sarging property buyers.” He then added, “Tell your blog readers that if they want to get to stop reading stuff like Rich Dad Poor Dad. Instead, read Neil Strauss’ book!”

It’s The Same Old, Same Old

When you’re trying to close a property deal, you’re essentially seducing the other person to agree to a set of terms that is (first and foremost) beneficial to you. In any situation, and no matter if you’re trying to sell your age old apartment or a whole KLCC condo en bloc, having the best psychology and persuasion tactics in your negotiation arsenal is valuable. And IMHO at least, the most cutting edge stuff in psychology lies in the knowledge base of pickup artists. Heck, even a researcher from Oxford would agree with me on this.

Here’s a real world example. Pickup artists know that if they “close the deal” too quickly, the women would experience bouts of buyers remorse which would often be counter productive. For example, let’s say you work your magic on a leggy brunette at Laundry Bar and you managed to get her phone number in three minutes, don’t be surprised if she doesn’t answer your calls the next day. Reason? Simple – your charm has since worn off, and since the interaction has been short (I’m assuming that you did not do more rapport building after you have gotten her digits) she has not felt invested enough in you to talk to you the next day.

And as you would have guessed, the buyer’s remorse phenomenon is all too common in property deals. Savvy negotiators know that “quick deals” are a fools errand. It’s usually better to go for a SLOW CLOSE… and here’s why.

In a successful negotiation in an ideal world, two things must happen:-

  1. The seller must convince the buyer that s/he has gotten it for the cheapest price.
  2. The buyer must convince the seller that s/he has sold it for the highest price.

Anything less would result in a buyer (or seller) remorse. For both conditions to be met, negotiations must take as much time as they require due to the excessive haggling to come to a price which is acceptable to both the buyer and the seller. Often, the actual price is NOT important. Instead, you’ll need to satisfy the EGO of the parties on both sides of the table before you can come to a conclusion which is agreeable to both parties.

So here’s what a skilled negotiator would do: in the event where a QUICK CLOSE seems imminent, he would artificially introduce roadblocks into the deal which he would then skillfully remove so that either the buyer or the seller (or both) would FEEL that they have won over the other party. Of course, this seems counter intuitive as everyone wants to close their deals quickly and move on. However, to remove possibility of buyer’s remorse further down the road, no matter what your lizard brain tells you, avoid quick deals.


So I’m told by a GoodPlace Digest reader that the Malaysia lair still exists but scattered in a number of forums (we were originally on Yahoo groups). This was what I found when I did a simple search and found one of these forums –


Ah, good times. 🙂

About Khai Yin

When I am not writing for GoodPlace.my and helping my readers find properties though the DealMatcher service, I spend time doting on my three kids: Wenyi, Qinyi and Eian. My personal stuff, some published essays and contact details can be found at khaiyin.com

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